I Won't Lose You
by Saiyuri Taiyou
Summary: A short story about what happened when Gon battled Neferpitou told from Killua's perspective. Contains spoilers for the Chimera Ant arc of Hunter X Hunter 2011.


The force of the blast was too strong. Killua was forced backward, using all of his strength just to keep his footing. His throat was raw from screaming, and he could hardly see through the dust and debris around him.

Gon.

Killua's heart pounded in his chest. _How could this have happened?_

Gradually, the debris began to clear, and Killua could see the gigantic crater that lay before him. He walked up to the edge and searched. Where is he? After a few agonizing moments that seemed an eternity, Killua spotted him. Without a second's hesitation, Killua threw himself into the crater. He knew it was Gon. No way could Neferpitou have survived a blast of that magnitude. But despite that reassurance, he was more afraid than ever.

 _What did he have to pay? What did he sacrifice?_

Was it possible to even come out of a situation like this alive?

As he drew nearer, Killua's breath caught in his throat. Everything was covered in blood. Red blood. Gon's blood. If he hadn't known otherwise, Killua wouldn't have been able to tell that the figure before him was his best friend. Gon's ragged body was now tiny, frail, warped. Tears welled up in Killua's eyes. He had held them at bay for so long, letting them loose only once, when in truth he had easily felt like breaking any minute. Now that his best friend lay before him, he could no longer contain his emotion.

Killua dropped to his knees at Gon's side. His left arm was gone, and he wasn't breathing. With trembling fingers, Killua touched Gon's neck. His skin was hot and sticky – completely covered in grime and blood.

There was no pulse.

"No! No! Dammit, Gon!" In his frustration, Killua punched the ground. The skin on his knuckles cracked, but he didn't care. "You can't do this to me..."

Killua had never felt so lost before in his life. His mind was blank. _What am I supposed to do?_

"You always do this," Killua's voice caught. He could barely speak above a whisper, but he continued, "You always do stuff like this. And now you left me behind again, but this time…you left me alone."

For the first time, Killua looked at Gon's face. His long black hair was plastered across it. Without even meaning to, Killua reached forward and brushed some of it aside. When he did, his nen sparked. A small flash of blue ran the length of his fingertip.

Looking at his hand Killua wondered, _Is it because I came in contact with Gon's residual nen?_ He didn't know why he cared. Gon was dead. What point was there in being curious about anything? Maybe it was just to take his mind off the pain. But as he sat there for a few moments, thinking, he had an idea.

My nen is very low, and I need to recharge, but this is the only option I have. Killua attempted to calm his emotions. He dried his eyes on his sleeve, and tried to focus. He imagined all of the nen that he had left, circling to his hand.

"You better not die, you bastard – not until you apologize!" Killua raised his fist, and came down hard on Gon's chest. His lightning type nen shocked Gon, and his body arched upward. After the bout, Killua checked Gon's pulse again. Nothing.

I just need a little more nen... Killua knew that using too much of his nen was dangerous. But none of that mattered to him. If he couldn't do this, Gon would be lost forever. He summoned more nen – as much as he possibly could.

"I won't lose you," He hit his fist into Gon's chest.

"I can't lose you!" Another punch.

"You're - ," Killua sobbed hysterically between blows. "You're, my precious friend! I won't lose you, Gon!"

With one final heave, Killua slammed his fist into Gon's chest a final time. Killua doubled over in exhaustion. He knew he had used too much nen. He could hardly feel his limbs. With a grunt, he lifted his head and gazed at Gon. There were still no signs of life.

"No way…." Killua hung his head in defeat. He really is…

Killua had never felt so broken.

Cold shivers flew down Killua's spine. He looked up in fright. Before him, a black cloud began to swirl around Gon's body. This is…nen? But that means –

Looking closer, Killua realized that Gon's chest raggedly rose and fell. "He's….alive." A wave of relief flooded Killua, but his elation was immediately replaced but distress. Sure, Gon was alive, but his body was irreparably damaged. The black cloud of nen surrounded him and looked menacing – it had to be the curse that held him bound after the sacrifice he had made.

Killua walked up to Gon, and grabbed his right arm. He was so fragile. Killua's once strong and athletic friend, was now nothing but frail bone. Killua gently lifted his friend onto his back.

Don't worry, Gon. I'll set this right.


End file.
